{"title":"Desk Drawer Essentials","description":"\u003cp\u003eAs per company policy, all employees are required to maintain a functional desk drawer. We recommend: one stress-relief item, one emergency distraction, and at least one thing that makes you feel like a person again. Contents may vary. Existential dread is consistent.\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"emergency-excuse-cards-breakroom-13","title":"Emergency Excuse Cards | Breakroom 13","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eFor when you need to leave a conversation without leaving your job.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe Emergency Excuse Cards are a collection of pre-approved, corporate-safe exit strategies designed for meetings that should have been emails.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ePrinted on high-quality card stock and infused with just enough passive resistance to get you through the day. Includes multiple phrases you already say daily — just now in a more official format.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003eWhat's Inside\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\"Sorry, just jumping on another call\"\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\"Circling back shortly\"\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\"Let's take this offline\"\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\"I'll action that and revert\"\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\"Can we park this for now?\"\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003ch3\u003eDisclaimer\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cp\u003eCards are pre-approved for professional use. Breakroom 13 accepts no liability for eye-rolls, passive-aggressive Slack messages, or being voluntold for the next project as a result of using these cards.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNot recognised by HR.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eImages are for illustrative purposes. The actual product will arrive looking suspiciously similar.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"BreakRoom13","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":53982584275284,"sku":"BR13-EEC-001","price":8.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1010\/0719\/6500\/files\/image_35bced19-bbd2-4f19-8a82-42c73a028040.png?v=1774020574"},{"product_id":"mini-desk-sign-breakroom-13","title":"Mini Desk Sign | Breakroom 13","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eFor when you need to communicate your feelings without technically saying anything.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA small sign with a large personality. Styled like an official office nameplate but with the energy of someone who has attended one too many stand-ups. Place it on your desk, monitor, or anywhere management might glance.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eWhat's Inside\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eOne double-sided mini desk sign with stand\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFront: \"Do Not Disturb\"\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBack: \"Currently Pretending to Work\"\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePlease note:\u003c\/strong\u003e The product image shows both sides for reference — your sign will arrive as a single double-sided piece, with one message on each side.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eDisclaimer\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBreakroom 13 accepts no responsibility for unsolicited conversations, knowing looks from colleagues, or being asked to \"take that down\" by someone with a lanyard. Display at your own professional risk.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNot recognised by HR.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eImages are for illustrative purposes. The actual product will arrive looking suspiciously similar.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"BreakRoom13","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":53982602199380,"sku":"BR13-MDS-001","price":7.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1010\/0719\/6500\/files\/desk-sign-currently-pretending-to-work_e6fbb82a-0330-4b9d-9453-d9c6204443b3.png?v=1775248144"},{"product_id":"meeting-survival-pack-breakroom-13","title":"Meeting Survival Pack | Breakroom 13","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eEverything you need to survive a meeting that definitely could have been an email.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe Meeting Survival Pack is a curated bundle of corporate defence tools for the professionally exhausted. Compact enough to fit in a drawer. 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